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BUILT TO FLY 2009
built to flycity lights disconnected sentimental songs don't last meager days good things happen in slow motion 4.15 to amsterdam strange affiliation pins and needles under the radar don't save up for a sunny day come outside HINDSIGHT 2007
i have a hard time explaining myselfdead ends 1996 hindsight help is on the way see you around back by midnight closer september light-years to kill |
built to fly
when the new year came i didn't even note what a miracle it's been i let it wander these days weigh the whole thing up like it didn't just begin i just can't stop myself from pretending i can't turn down the anticipation inside but even when i soar unrestrained up high i feel it in my bones i wasn't built to fly as quickly as it comes it rushes from my grasp forcing me to trace the breadcrumbs back felt like a relic of late i've got a petty fear for the neighborhood to change (and it changes all the time) and if i've been lashing out let it be known i couldn't make it on my own (i couldn't be alone) chorus
city lights
sunday morning so the welcoming party never showed now i've been staring at the window shades and doors below you make me feel at home for a little while make me feel less alone for a little while if i could reach you all just a little while i wouldn't even know where to begin this apprehension like i've been sleeping while the city called at two in the morning i'm drawn to the warmth behind these frowning walls chorus if i could take you home for a little while make you feel less alone for a little while if i could reach you all just a little while i wouldn't even know where to begin
disconnected
lately i've been wondering if we're making this up as we go along for all our caution and optimistic reason i must admit my footing ain't too strong it's like every line i thought i spun gets disconnected like every safety-net i had and when i give it up to you there's only static coming through did you get disconnected too are you sleeping seems the nights got longer since we took it on ourselves to find our feet are you breathing i know the air gets thicker each day and it isn't likely to get much better here chorus or are you leaning in to say when everything is stripped away it's just a burden less to shake like a reminder thrown my way lately i've been wondering are you making this up as you go along
sentimental songs don't last
don't get excited no one ever promised you the sparkle from the box would last and i'm sure i saw you glance up when all the new arrivals passed i do remember living off my best behavior no revert to alibis wish you could've been there to lighten up when i came by well here she goes straight ahead and don't look back yeah here she goes again it's not that i don't care don't get the wrong impression settling is always hard and lately i've had a knack for bad judgment what if i'd come up to you in advance filling you in showing my hand this ain't the first time won't be the last time i walk away well here she goes straight ahead and don't look back yeah here she goes and we both know she'll never last cause good intentions never last like sentimental songs don't last so give me something that will last cause i'm running out
meager days
hey girl what are you thinking of seems like you've been living on a cloud that drifted in from brighter parts then gradually turned black and poured you out wish i could say in all this time i'd learned enough to help you shrug it off but i can't tell left from right sometimes and i may just as well have wandered off do you know that i lie awake when you start closing up sometimes you're the only one i love hey girl do you get envious does everyone around appear to gloat it's hard to stay impervious to all the shit they're sneaking down your throat do you know this dream that i have one day we'll end up alone in some insatiable consumer-friendly place and every bite-size portion falling from the sky will seem to laugh in our face and do you know i lie awake when you start closing up cause sometimes you’re the only one i love my heart may be a small support to hold in meager days but i'll let you have it all and it just might be enough
good things happen in slow motion
here you are and there's nothing to hear and nothing to see just this chill creeping away so gradually like the rain dabbing the world with a haze of green so clichéd i always knew you would be coming i guess at some point i stopped waiting you take forever to approach me but then you light up all around me snow-white sun seeping through the atmosphere trademark smile no mistake i'm alright here neon shine piercing through the underbrush hurts my eyes chorus just my luck overslept and unconcerned easy goes never learned to wait my turn won't be long before i go on and forget but no regrets
4.15 to amsterdam
four fifteen no crowds and no delays rolling off it's days like these i hope i never learn to drive staring at a cotton candy sky thinking it's taken awhile before the last strings came undone i have to say you took me by surprise i'm still a little shaken by the vigor in your bite i hope you'll try and let it go someday i'm pretty sure you've had about as much as you can take i hardly caught the window turning black and my reflection staring back at me mysteriously still for all of these uncertainties of late i can't help feeling that i'll find my place somewhere along the rail chorus and you should just be happy we're okay
strange affiliation
i haven't thought about you for awhile that's something i'll admit and i don't recall the last chat we had most of those don't really stick but i realize what you're up against even if it doesn't show i've only just discovered bruises never go and it's a strange affiliation we have as you may already know i know you spend a lot of time alone deliberating things with god and i hope he throws a line sometime and points out all the things that you got but the longer you keep waiting and averting your eyes the more you dim the lights on what you leave behind i guess there's no avoiding the stuff he poured down our veins so now you've got me up at night and i hope you're making out alright if you'll give me a moment to catch my breath i know a friend is hard to find is this something you've always known the bitterest pills are meant to swallow alone it's not that big a deal i guess just brings us down with all the rest
pins and needles
i wanted you to know in case you weren't sure i ain't going anywhere (still faithfully pinned down) i need you here with me to narrate all i see and freshen up my air (breathe in when you breathe out) i find myself adrift along the years sometimes (pulling the days apart) to shake the pins and needles that have been wearing me away till something comes over me shaking me wide awake cause i've been staring at a void where something is supposed to be i need you to lean in close to cover my freezing skin and promise me there's something underneath i've given you my heart to carry like your own as i hope you still recall (or has it been too long) if something's broken down i trust you'll let me know cause lately i've been wondering if it beat at all (too much to drag along) i found myself adrift along the years again (pulling the days apart) to shake the pins and needles that have been wearing me away chorus even as you call my name i'm falling fast asleep if i stay out for awhile i pray my soul to keep
under the radar
found yourself the perfect little hide-out where no-one has intruded all these years you think you got yourself under the radar then you completely disappear for all your righteous ambitions you build a pretty alarming shell why'd you offer a bargain if you weren't planning to sell don't you think for once you should get out here wear some polish off your shoes don't you think by now it should be different you know you've got it all to lose found yourself the perfect little hide-out where all the invitees take up their parts girls with innate smiles and distant gazes and noble boys with broken hearts with all the friends you assembled you seem determined to stay alone are you afraid they'll remember the promise you've shown chorus
don't save up for a sunny day
it's gonna be a lovely day i'm gonna make this work we'll only have ourselves to blame if we don't get all we're worth it's not gonna rain today not if we have our say and we'll speak up loud i'm gonna get myself a job gonna pay off my debt roll up my sleeves and toil about honest to god i'll sweat that's what i came here for i know what you have in store and i'll take you on now every drop that falls from the venomous sky pushes me on to give it one more try but all along there's a panic inside i can't contain this it's gonna be a lovely day in spite of everything so what if we got washed away and ended up sleeping in there's no way to screw this up nothing to change our luck and i'm still aiming high when every drop that falls from the venomous sky pushes me on to give it one last try all along there's a panic inside i can't contain this and every drop that fell from my blistering face sank in the ground and never left a trace imagine my relief when you took over the place i can't contain this don't save up for a sunny day
come outside
when i call do you brace yourself crawl into your shell force me to slow down i don't know could you be afraid are you overpaid just tired of reaching down i don't mean to wallow in my doubt just cause i'm let down doesn't mean i'm blind but i've been here a hundred times before scratching at your door when will you come outside when i stand up against the wind so easily singed i let it take me down does it bring you into my thoughts do you call the shots or let me fool around chorus
i have a hard time explaining myself
last time i followed the crumbs that led to your den i found you alone i could have stared at your shadow for hours on end maybe i'm easily swayed and i should have known you wouldn't come home i have a hard time explaining myself to my friends i have been trying to reach you for days are you deserted in numerous ways what can i do if there is a record that stands in our way i would be happy to have it erased how about you
dead ends
i don't remember awaking or falling apart when i looked up from the floor as far as i know i've been moving at a continuous pace so far i don't mean to sound condescending or question the goodwill slapped across my face my heart isn't made out of granite and it easily breaks but a beat always remains cause when the sky clears up at the end of the day laying out every dead end i know i'll never lose my way like a feeling that stuck from a dream i forgot i can't seem to shake it off i know you've always called my name i've had a shot at complying but it takes me a while to find my place and sometimes i wonder if i should be trying at all in this light it just doesn't seem gratifying fighting off shadows armed to the teeth i can't always make out the rules but i'm picking up hints of the marvel that lies underneath chorus
1996
in a couple of years i'll be scuffing the sidewalk humming something that captured my ear and i'll catch a glimpse of your face coming up out of nowhere and remember the way it lit me up and you'll be a thousand miles off but i'm sure you'd agree that was a pretty good year in a few days from now i'll be packing up lightly getting rid of the weight that slows me down heading straight for the sun casting shadows behind me blocking out all i used to know i'll thank you for letting me go i was never alone i've been telling myself that the sky will get brighter sometimes that's something i need to hear as i wander along and the colors start fading sometimes i wait for the sparks to reappear they don't come around much these days but one thing's still clear that was a pretty good year
hindsight
funny how my mind works it erases entire ages but it saved what you were wearing when we met and i remember your account of growing up inside a movie and my annoyance at your half-smoked cigarettes you set me ablaze just for a second and snuffed me out before i got your name i never got the hang of turning blind eyes but you left a mean impression just the same if there was some connection between my heart and my endurance i might have found the courage to stay so i tell myself in hindsight that you were pretty hard to save it's like you set the place on fire so we could watch you burn away i don't know how you managed to get us wrapped around your finger but i wonder if it ever wore you out and i hardly have a memory of finally stealing my fifteen minutes but i'm sure i've got no reason to be proud chorus
help is on the way
we haven't been here before i'm pretty convinced of that now though the scenery's quite deceiving there's still a sway in my step and there's still a light on my path though it's strangely unfamiliar and i'll let you know i don't have a clue what to think cause the wider i spread my wings the more i drift away and it troubles me these days while i never had a doubt it's getting harder to believe that help is on the way she hasn't been herself since the world allowed her in without making arrangements she's been told to brighten up but it's impossible to shine when your heart's been painted black and in time i guess we'll see the gain that shimmered underneath unless it's just bad luck i'm telling you it's hard to tell the two apart like it gets harder to believe that help is on the way i may have seen your face mirrored in her eyes when i woke this morning and i might have heard your voice whispering to me if you don't know what you're waiting for hold tight cause one of these days you'll know the deeper you descend the closer you will be to finding your release there's not a load so heavy it'll sweep you off your feet before you're notified that help is on the way
see you around
do you remember when it was it seems like a different lifetime you said the day would never end in a manner of speaking i know you'd never let me down but it was different then so i try to find my way and i try to keep my head down and focus on the road ahead but every time i let my guard dow n i forget my lines completely and i couldn't care less but yeah, i'll see you around (i've been waiting all my life and i miss you all the time i'll always be alone until you come and take me home) do you ever stop to see the way i blend in with a crowd sometimes i fear i'll disappear but i know inside my heart that i'd rather spend a day with you than a thousand more here chorus when did you decide that you'd let me on my way that you'd trust me to move on and never turn my head away when did you decide that you'd never let me go will you ever change your mind if i never reach my goal
back by midnight
i'll let you in on something you may have noticed by now i don't object to seclusion or let misgivings grind me down but there's a turmoil this evening it's been lingering since you left found its way inside my bones and now it's heating up the rest i've been known to keep myself composed or that's what i've always supposed but i'm not so sure today if you could see all the stuff i kept inside the flesh may sleep but i'm alive in spirit anyway i've been talking to jesus my fingers tightly crossed so if he's not on call this evening at least i might restrict the loss it wouldn't be the first time that i've been put to shame i don't make any illusions but it's hard to drop the reins chorus i hope tonight you'll make your way back here sometimes you're everything that i hold dear i hope you'll be back by midnight i hope you'll be home soon
closer
i've looked at you talking things through waving your hands like you know what to do and i've been amazed is that what i look like to you do you recall defying the night roaming the town for a drink and some life what would you say the investments added up to sometimes i'm caught off guard and it strikes me how much just fades away what are we building up if it's all just a phase anyway i don't believe i'm stuck in the past raking up stories and wishing they'd last but honestly i don't examine myself much at all i might have thought you get to a point where everything figures and loose ends are joined and when we're alone a fleeting glance might be enough but you don't need to lie to me we don't need to varnish this it's true, i barely know myself so how could i understand you and sometimes i'm caught off guard and for a second it all falls into place and i'll be reminded that i love you as much as i do though i never get closer to you
september
there's no escaping the water it draws me up this time of year like anything i notice these days just takes me away it's like i've been out for ages i wish i had more memories here wearing off the buzz in my head to stop me thinking of you it's alright i'll wake up you never get a chance to dream if you're never banged up just like you never find a reason to kneel if you don't ever mess up i've been wasting the morning musing on the time that passes and trying to define what it is that keeps me turning away and while the summer collapses blowing out its final breaths i'm still dying to see you some days chorus come october i'm hoping everything will be fine i'm not trying to break your heart just a couple more days i'll stop wasting my time
light-years to kill
if you got the chance to return would you rebuild all the bridges you burned where would you be my love where would you be when will you figure it out there's no such thing as a trouble-free route hold on to me my love hold on to me if i went out chasing your heart wouldl i be destined to fail from the start would you receive my love could you believe shuffle along as you will i've got a thick skin and light-years to kill it never sleeps my love it never sleeps |